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Exercising Caution: Safe Outdoor Firepit Practices for Car Fans
Old cars, especially if they do not run, should not be kept on your property. To what degree you are a nerd, or boffin, for general 'automative' subjects is totally insignificant. You know you are a gearhead if you keep copies of Car and Driver in the reading rack in the bathroom, eat your lunch with a pocket multitool, confuse your antifreeze container with the flower vase you left next to the sink and can lift a transmission into place without breaking a sweat. The vintage vehicles remain unattractive.
Additionally, give the concept of fire pits a thought. You have no way of knowing when a stray spark from that thing touch off the gasoline residue in your Rolls. As we often learn from the news or videos of the most dangerous events in life, sparks can cause a car to explode. It can happen quickly.
Luckily there is an answer, but it will work only if you use a little portable fire pit gadget.
If you have a fire-pit from Tiscany or it starts with the letter C you can get the car towed immediately. However, if you have one of the nice compact models with a lid and a handle, it's time to take a tip from the Towers of Hammurabi.
The trick is to start by picking the fire pit up by its handle and carrying it triumphantly out of your yard. Is it heavy? Now it's time to kick it up a notch!
Now the cars are no longer at risk of catching fire. You're home free, in a way. Of course, you might end up with fines if people in your neighborhood call the police on your for violating 'quiet time' laws, letting a fire pit remain on the town sidewalk and strolling sideways wearing a green windbreaker. But what difference do these bits and pieces really make? At least you'll be spared the ignominy of getting out of bed tomorrow to find you're the proud owner of a PT Oozer, a Mini Glooper and a Volkswagen Ugh.
The next step is to remove the cars. Those that cannot be driven should be towed away. You should get rid of them completely. The fire pit is now easily transported into the back yard.
That is all it takes - you have finished it. Calm down. Start the flames in your fire pit. If you're getting nostalgic for olden times prior to vehicles being on the road, when a mini fiefdom was imbued with a typical automotive persona, merely recall that every bit of life requires sacrifices. When starting the fire in your new fire pit be careful in your selection of starter fluid as some compounds like gas or kerosene can be very explosive and lead to an explosion rather than the controlled fire you are seeking.
Cassie - Let's Get Crazy (Feat. Akon) (Blue Ice Trance Edit) (Electro Love 2011)